The clocks are going back. The evenings are getting darker. And the only thing more chilling than a cold October wind? A banking horror story.
We’ve spoken to thousands of businesses switching to Allica. And while their industries, ambitions and stories are all different, they often have one thing in common- a hair-raising tale about their old bank.
These aren’t one-off nightmares. They’re everyday frustrations that traditional banks just don’t seem interested in solving; like ghosting you mid-loan application, or having your money vanish into a black hole with no explanation.
We’ve rounded up four of the most common banking horror stories we hear and why you should escape them for good.
Spooky story #1 When your bank ghosts you 👻
You’re halfway through applying for a business loan, trying to get help with your account, or even checking in on a suspicious transaction.
But instead of speaking to someone, you get radio silence.
You wait, you chase, you wonder if your message got lost, or if the application’s still open, or if anyone’s even there at all.
This kind of ghosting is more common than you might think. And for business owners, it’s not just annoying, it’s damaging. Delays can cost you time, money and opportunities, meaning that you can’t move forward if you don’t even know where you stand.
Worst of all, you start to feel like you’re the ghost.
Spooky story #2 When fees creep up on you 🧟️
Picture this: you're happily using your business account, when you’re suddenly hit with a monthly fee. Then a payment fee. Then a “what even is this?” fee for something you didn’t know wasn’t included.
And before you know it, your bank’s quietly sucked your account dry like a financial vampire.
Many banks rely on vague pricing, hidden limits and small print that makes it hard to work out what you’re actually paying for. And in some cases, these creeping fees aren’t just unhelpful, they can actively harm your business.
It shouldn’t be a trick to find out what you’re paying for. And you shouldn’t need a degree in ghostbusting to work out what your bank’s up to.
Spooky story #3 When customer service vanishes into thin air 💨
You’ve got an urgent problem. A credit card’s been blocked. A payment hasn’t landed. You’re trying to meet a deadline or make payroll, and time is tight.
You call your bank and wait on hold for an hour before getting transferred to another team, and suddenly you’re trapped in an endless loop with the robot on the other end of the line your only companion.
This kind of disappearing act is more than a frustration. It can disrupt your operations, damage client relationships and make running a business harder than it needs to be.
It’s enough to make you scream (politely, of course).
Sadly, too many business owners know the feeling of explaining the same issue to five different people, only to end up right back where they started.
When you’ve got a question about your business bank account or loan application, you want an answer. Preferably from someone who knows what they’re talking about, not a chatbot with commitment issues.
Spooky story #4 When your money mysteriously disappears (or just… doesn’t move)
You’ve made a payment, checked the account details and close your app thinking everything should be fine.
But it’s not.
The payment’s “processing”, your balance hasn’t updated and there’s no notification, no alert, no idea what’s going on. Meanwhile, you’re stuck in limbo, refreshing your screen and hoping for the best.
Delayed or failed payments don’t just hold up your admin. They can affect cashflow, relationships and deadlines, especially if you’re trying to pay suppliers, meet a tax bill or send payroll.
Mystery might work in horror films. But not in business banking.
We’re shining the light on banking horror stories…
Because they’re still happening all too often.
And sadly business owners end up accepting it, because switching feels like hassle or because they don’t think there’s a better alternative.
But your business deserves more.
If your current bank’s giving you the creeps, there are better options out there. Ones with real people you can speak to. Simple tools that just work. And service that doesn’t ghost you when things get tricky.
Because business banking shouldn’t be scary. Just scarily good.
